Tulsa Senior AdvisorWhat are the warning signs of caregiver burnout?
Constant exhaustion, skipped medical care of your own, irritability, isolation from friends, and feeling that nothing you do is enough are the common signs, and they predict a crisis for both the caregiver and the person receiving care.
If you are thinking about harming yourself or the person you care for, call 988 or 911 now.
What respite help is available around Tulsa?
Adult day care centers, short respite stays in assisted living, in-home respite, and caregiver programs run by the Area Agencies on Aging are the main options; OSDH licenses 8 adult day care centers in the six counties.
The INCOG Area Agency on Aging (918-584-7526) serves Tulsa, Creek and Osage counties, Grand Gateway ((918) 783-5793) serves Rogers County, and EODD ((918) 682-7891) serves Wagoner and Okmulgee counties.
Can public programs pay for help?
Yes, for those who qualify: SoonerCare's ADvantage waiver pays for personal care and adult day health at home, and LIFE PACE in Tulsa provides a day center, transportation and home support for people 55 and older who need nursing home level care.
Apply early for ADvantage, because slots are limited and the waiting list runs in order of application date.
How do I ask siblings or family to share the load?
Be specific: list the tasks, the hours and the costs, then ask each person for something concrete they can do, such as covering one weekend a month, handling bills from a distance, or paying for a few hours of help each week.
A family meeting with a neutral person, such as a care manager or a faith leader, can keep the conversation on the work rather than on old disagreements. Write down what everyone agrees to.
When is it time to consider a move?
When the caregiver's own health is suffering, when nights are unsafe and no one can cover them, or when care needs, such as lifting or wandering, have outgrown what one person can do safely at home.
Moving a parent into assisted living or memory care is not abandoning them. Many caregivers say the relationship improves once they can visit as a spouse or child again rather than as a round-the-clock nurse.
At a glance
| Respite is | Respite is not | |
|---|---|---|
| Purpose | Planned relief for the caregiver | A sign of giving up |
| Forms | Adult day care, short stays, in-home help | Only a nursing home |
| Timing | Best before a crisis | A last resort |
Sources include the Oklahoma Administrative Code (chapters 310:663, 310:680, 310:673, 310:675 and 310:605), OSDH, the Oklahoma Health Care Authority, Oklahoma Human Services, the Oklahoma Attorney General, CareScout, CMS and the VA, as cited above; see our editorial standards.
